Time sucks because it just keeps doing its thing. It doesn’t care. It passes, you age, and one day you discover horrible facts about things you used to love being old and/or dead. Facts like these:
1993’s The Shawshank Redemption has been out three years longer than the hero Andy Dufresne was in prison.
The current gaming incarnation of Lara Croft is only four years older than the original game.
The original Doom is now the same age as John Carmack was when he made it (23).
In The Force Awakens Mark Hamill is two years older than Alec Guinness was in the original Star Wars.
Hideo Kojima is currently 52. When he started work on the first Metal Gear game he was 24, meaning he’s spent well over half his life working on the series.
We’re now further away from Home Alone’s release date (26 years) than Home Alone is from the moon landing (21 years).
If Mario was ageing in real time, he’d now be 61-years-old (he made his debut in 1981 and is said to be 26 in Super Smash Bros).
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’s Short Round, Jonathan Ke Quan, is now older than Harrison Ford was in Raiders of the Lost Arc and The Temple of Doom.
We’re nearly as far away from Vice City’s release date (14 years) as Vice City is from its 1986 setting (16 years).
The actress who played Newt in Aliens is 40 this year.
Come see me @Comicpalooza this weekend! Playing hide & seek with all my friends from #LV426 & signing pics #aliens pic.twitter.com/LAtDNSeysJJune 17, 2016
All the dogs in Beethoven have been dead a long time. And that one from The Artist.
Tetris and Mila Kunis are the same age (32).
The high school-set Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show is now old enough to have finished high school (19 years old).
Games that will be old enough to drink in the US this year: Jumping Flash!, Command & Conquer, Tekken 2, and Rayman.
Films that will be old enough to drink in the US this year: Toy Story, Seven, Pocahontas, and Clueless.