Before we delve into the darkness of the world this week, let’s consider these two tweets from the past seven days that really tell any outside viewer exactly what they need to know about the platform that is Twitter (in addition to the stuff about Nazis and harassment, of course).

Oh, social media! So many fascinating characters… But that’s not what you came here for. This is what you came here for.

The State of the Uniom?

What Happened: President Trump got to give his report card to Congress last week, prompting all kinds of commentary across the world wide web.

What Really Happened: Last week, Trump gave his first State of the Union address, although for some, it was the State of the Uniom thanks to some misprinted tickets.

The typo was apparently not the White House’s fault. But whether it was Uniom or Union, there was a lot of anticipation in the air for Trump’s SOTU speech: After such an eventful first year in office, everyone wondered, what would he talk about?

Well, yes. Sure. But nonetheless, many outlets tried to predict what he’d say ahead of the night itself, which might explain why the media was able to concentrate on, shall we say, less weighty topics. Like fashion.

OK, so the Democrats were wearing black to stand with #MeToo, and that’s not exactly a non-weighty topic. But what about the Republicans? One Republican figure attracted notice for not wearing black.

But back to the speech itself. According to Trump, the State of the Union was strong—isn’t that always traditionally the case?—although many of the other parts of the speech were less traditional, as Twitter was quick to note.

Never mind what was said, some people noticed what wasn’t

It was, overall, a very Donald Trump speech, if somewhat lighter on the insults and uses of the term “fake news.” There were, of course, any number of fact checks for what was said, but there was one thing that everyone accepted as true: The president needs to stop applauding himself so close to his microphone.

As it turned out, he wasn’t the only one whose applause was noticed, however.

The Takeaway: As should only be expected, Trump’s first post-speech comment about the State of the Union was all about how many people were watching:

Wait. The “highest number in history”? Turns out, that’s not even vaguely true. As was pointed out by none other than Fox News:

(Another) Shake-Up at the Justice Department

What Happened: For anyone keeping score, go ahead and add “deputy director of the FBI” to the list of surprise resignations during the Trump administration.

What Really Happened: The fight between the president and the Justice Department continues apace. Following reports that President Trump had launched a campaign to discredit FBI witnesses and asked the acting director of the FBI who he’d voted for, last week saw another departure from office for a Department of Justice official.

To say that FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe’s departure was big news would be a drastic understatement, and Twitter dug in with its traditional vigor.

But how bad could things have been, really?

OK, so that’s pretty bad.

That last point may not be right, according to the White House.

Still, at least one man was willing to stand up for McCabe. A very familiar man, as it turned out.

The Takeaway: There is, of course, one thing to remember when looking at this, especially as it revolves around legal matters.

Soap and Water Never Did Me Any Harm, Ask My Acne

What Happened: Do you take care of your skin? According to a new report, some people might be doing too much for it. Those folks were not ready to hear that.

What Really Happened: Political maneuvering wasn’t the only discussion on social media last week. Surprisingly, a story about skincare started quite a bit of typing, too.

Indeed, so many people were talking about it that the conversation provoked even more (and more and more) opinion pieces on whether or not skincare was something that people should be discussing, and why. Oh, and it helped others to come forward to share their skincare tips, too.

The Takeaway: For those who don’t spend much time on skincare, there is only one response to be made here.

So, What’s Your Child Texting About?

What Happened: These kids and their phones and their slang. Who can even keep up?

What Really Happened: Quite why the “Is Your Child Texting?” meme returned this week—it’s been around for months, potentially inspired by this story from USA Today last May—is a mystery, but we’re quite glad it did. And apparently, we’re not alone, as multiple sites noticed it this time around.

We’d explain what it is, but you’ll pick it up. Let’s end this week on, if not a high note, then at least a silly one.

The Takeaway: There was, of course, only one way this could end…



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